


don't wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Comment Fic, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3401999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretending to date Jason isn't really a problem. It's how bad Tim wants to date Jason for real that's getting in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans

It's not so bad, pretending to date Jason. Tim figured it would pretty much be a disaster – that the people they're trying to fool would figure them out quickly, that they'd end up with guns to their faces the second everyone realized they're not who they say they are.

Or that _Tim_ would end up with a gun to his face via Jason, because, well. It's _Jason_.

But it's actually okay. Jason takes him to the movies, and to dinner, and on one memorable occasion they hit a mini golf course and both fail _spectacularly_ at getting their golf balls anywhere near the holes. Jason threatens to blow up the little wooden windmills, and Tim assures the mob boss they're with at the time that Jason is _joking_.

Everything goes really _well_ \- even their bickering fits in with whoever they're supposed to be – except.

"I just realized," Tim says one day. They're in a Starbucks, waiting for one of the mob guys to show up, and Jason just brought him a coffee and a pastry and offered him the sweetest smile maybe _anyone's_ ever seen.

"What's that?" Jason asks.

"You've never _done_ this before, have you?"

"What?" Jason asks. "Bought you coffee? I'm a fucking gentlemen, bro, I _always_ pay."

"No," Tim says. He's grinning, and he can't stop. Jason's totally going to punch him out and blow their cover, and he _can't stop_. "You've never _dated_ anyone."

"Shut up," Jason says.

"That's why you're so _nice_. Because you –"

"So help me, Tim, if you don't shut up –"

"It's _cute_ ," Tim says.

Jason sits down across from him. Glares. "When this is all over," Jason promises, "I'm going to drop kick you into the next century."

Tim smirks. "Sure you are, _sweetie_."

*

Jason gets him back, of course. So far, they've managed to keep the public displays of affection to holding hands, the occasional peck on the cheek, managed to make it seem like they're just not _in_ to PDA, but tonight –

In a fucking crowd full of mob bosses and mob bosses' wives and _whoever_ -

Jason backs him into the fucking buffet table and pretty much _assaults_ his mouth.

"What," Tim says, quiet so no one else hears, "the hell was that."

Jason smirks at him, licks his lips. "Just felt like kissing you, baby," he says. "You know, like boyfriends do."

*

It just gets worse from there. After that, Jason's _always_ on him – arm wrapped around his shoulder or hand tucked into the back pocket of Tim's jeans, kissing his neck, playing with his hair – and Tim knows better than to tell him to cut it out, knows it'll fuck everything _up_ -

And more than that, he doesn't _want_ Jason to stop. He's self-aware enough to admit that he's always had a thing for Jason, that it hasn't exactly been a _pain_ pretending to be his boyfriend.

It's just that they'll be finishing up the job soon. They're close, so close, and then –

Then it'll just be him, and the memory of what Jason's mouth tastes like.

*

"You didn't have to kill him," Tim says. "In fact, I'm pretty sure Bruce's _express orders_ were no killing."

Jason shrugs, scratches the back of his head with his gun. "This fucker sold drugs to kids. I won't tell if you don't."

Tim sighs, starts dialing the cops. "Look on the bright side," Jason says. "You don't have to pretend to like me anymore."

Tim hangs up¬ his phone, stares at Jason. "I wasn't _pretending_ , Jason." He steps closer – over the dead mobster's body – to Jason. Neither of them are in costume tonight, and he can see Jason's expression flicker, sees him lick his lips.

"Come on," Jason says. "I know you, man, you –"

Tim kisses him. Not sloppy and teasing like Jason kissed him in front of everybody, but hard, sure, one hand on the back of Jason's head to keep him there. "I wasn't pretending," he says again.

Jason stares at him, licks his lips again. "I never, uh," he says. "I mean, I've been _around_ , but there wasn't a whole lot of time for – dating. That's why –"

"I know," Tim says. He figured it out – before he died, there wasn't time. Jason didn't get the semi-normal high school experience Tim did, didn’t have _Steph_ or anyone else like that. Jason didn't get stupid dances and group dates.

Jason gets his hand in Tim's hair, tugs a little. "You, uh," he says. "You wanna go somewhere that doesn't have a dead body?"

Tim laughs before he can stop himself. He's nervous, but lets Jason pull him away, follows him through alleyways until they get to one of Jason's safehouses. Jason punches in the code, pulls him inside and shoves him against the wall, then stops.

"You sure?" Jason asks.

"Jason," Tim says.

"I mean, we could just get a coffee –"

" _Jason_ ," Tim says again. He pulls Jason forward by the collar, crashes their mouths together. Jason grunts against him, and his hand comes up beside Tim and hits the wall, but he doesn't ask again, just kisses Tim back hard and fierce, mouth opening against Tim's, and it's hot and perfect and everything Tim's never been so glad not to be doing in front of someone _else_.

His head spins and Jason's hands are everywhere, pulling at the neck of his shirt to bite his collarbone, suck marks into his shoulder, and then Jason's hands are on his belt and Tim jumps about a _foot_ before he can help it –

And Jason laughs.

"I swear to god if you're fucking with me, Jason –" Tim starts, but Jason shakes his head, kisses him again.

"No," he says. It's dark in Jason's apartment, but Tim can still see his eyes light up. "It's just – you've never done _this_ before, have you?"

"Shut up," Tim says, and Jason hums, delighted. "It's fucking _adorable –" Jason starts, and Tim kisses him again. It doesn't really stop Jason from talking, but it's the best that he can do._


End file.
